I wish I could be posting about a mircale and that my dads cancer hasn;t turned out to be terminal but I can;t . I wish I could post that we are going to have many more months with him and that his death will be pain free and peaceful but I can't . I can't explain how I feel like my family has been turned upside down and that my heart is breaking in two. But I know this place is one place that can understand my pain so i post.
The last three weeks have been very difficult dads cancer was finally diagnosed as a rare smooth muscle
Histiocytoma sarcoma and him already being sick from the tumor and misdiagnosed three times after his biopsy he collapsed and even though for the last 5 days of last week they tried cemo , a high dose of three different cemos he has not improved. The cemo didn;t work didn;t change anything and he is too weak to operate and remove the tumor .
So I post to tell you that my Dad is going to die soon and it makes me so very sad but I know I will be ok he was a good man a great Dad and I love him very much. I am lucky that I can sit with him and hold his hand and tell him how much I love him but it hurts like hell. I hope and pray that his bad dreams and hallucination's stop soon and that he can have some peace.
Please pray for me and my family that when the time comes we will have the strength to honour him as he deserves ((((((((hugs )))))))) to all who have lost loved ones my kindest and warmest prayers Donna






To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace. ~Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

awwwwwwwwwwww Donna,
im sooo sorry to hear this i will keep u and ur family and and most o all ur dad in my thoughts and prayers..

stay strong hun,

In my prayers
xx
be strong donna.

Thinking of you at this time Donna

*hugs* I am so sorry to hear that.

I wish there was something I could do, or say to take away the pain but I guess I can't, just know that your in my prayers n we all love you.

Thinking of you Donna I know how hard it must be on you, I hope that something amazing happens soon.
I know I might be overly optimistic in all this but I just say it aint over till it's over. The doctor's told my sister that she wouldn't last till last christmas and somehow she's battled through and made the other side.

It took more than 3 different lots of chemo to get her better it wasn't having no effect on her at first either.

I know it might be easier said than done but try and stay strong and positive through this, I know it's hard I've walked the path and am still walking the path but I feel in my heart he's not ready to just give up yet.

So sorry to hear this Donna................so hard, I was 18 when my Dad died in 1966 at age 51 and it is still fresh in my mind..............time dulls the pain but that sense of loss still remains..............stay strong, you and your family are in my prayers

So sorry to hear your sad news Donna *HUGS* much love to you and your family .

Oh Donna....I'm so sorry to hear this sad news. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

my heart breaks for you donna

Sorry to hear your sad news Donna

In My Thoughts and Prayers right now....love Julie xx

so sorry you and your family are going thru so much pain Donna
please know you are in my prayers.

I'm sending you the July Angel Donna xx



This angel July
Sends love with her heart
That whispers on land
As trees rustle gently
In harmony grand
An angel so peaceful
She's sent with great love
Angelic in nature
Reflected above
Let her just fill you with
Warmth and all care
An angel to bless you with
Dreams you can share
Look to her innocence
Her power and might
While gently she sends you
All love that is bright.~

Donna it's so hard, but I'm so pleased you have the opportunity to sit and hold his hand and help him leave this life peacefully. It's all anyone could wish for. Bless you all. xxxxxxxxx

Oh Donna,

I'm so very sorry that you and your family are at that time o your journey together........i cannot and choose not to even try to imagine how painful it must be..
i will pray for your father to be a peace to let go of this life and move to a place of glory and promise where he will truly know peace and be free of is bodies limitations...

For you and your family I will pray for strength to cope with the grief of continuing your journey without him here with you, and also that you may find peace in the knowledge that he is somewhere beautiful where you will be joined together again in time.

All my love to you Donna.....I could cry for you. Be Strong

Warm hugs

Sheenia

Oh my gosh..........that sounds so sad!!
I really don't know what to say to you at this time, except that my heart truly goes out to you & your family right now.
I wish it wasn't so, but we can never tell just how life will turn out for us.
I remember when I lost my own Dad, not that long ago.....we were never really that close, but there was an empty space ...a hole that just hurt to be filled.......he was part of me...I was his flesh & blood...& I KNEW I had loved him, to feel what I felt.

I wish I could take your pain away..........just know that you are being thought of!!
My prayers & love go out to you at this time...
xox


Be strong & stay close.........it's amazing just how these things tend to draw you closer to the ones you love.

Oh Donna, I m so sorry to hear that! My thoughts and prayers are with you and ur family!

Stay Strong
Love
karen
xo

in my prayers and thoughts

so sorry to hear such bad news

Birth is a beginning
and death a destination
And life is a journey:
From childhood to maturity
and youth to age;
From innocence to awareness
and ignorance to knowing;
From foolishness to desecration
and then perhaps to wisdom.
From weakness to strength or
from strength to weakness
and often back again;
From health to sickness
and we pray to health again.
From offense to forgiveness
from loneliness to love
from joy to gratitude
from pain to compassion
from grief to understanding
from fear to faith.
From defeat to defeat to defeat
until looking backwards or ahead
We see that victory lies not
at some high point along the way
but in having made the journey
step by step
a sacred pilgrimage.
Birth is a beginning
and death a destination
And life is a journey;
A sacred journey to life everlasting

©Author Unknown

I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad Donna. I hope this isn't the end of his journey but if so I hope he'll have some moments of peace and clarity with the family as the chemotherapy drugs wear off.

So glad your kids know their Grandpa ... unfortunately my Mother died before mine were born ...
because sharing your stockpile of wonderful memories will overshadow these dark days with time.

Strength to you all!

I think he'd be very proud of his daughter.

Thinking of you Donna at this time, must be so difficult.
Lots of love.
Jan xxx

To Dear Donna.
I would just like to say,that is i truly do know how you are feeling, the rest of your family,there is nothing worse than feeling powerless,when we feel powerless, we wish there was something that we could do to change the our love one is feeling right now. The only thing you can really do, that is what you have already been doing, that is holding your father's hand, telling your father how much you really do love, what a great man he is, has been throu out your life, your growing up year's. Because Donna you know what the most important thing a child can do for their parent. That is telling them,show them how much they have had a big inpact in your life, parent's really do love to know how much their child or childern do love them, surport them aswell, whether they are very sick or not.
So just remember Donna that you are the greatest gift that i parent could have it their life.
And whether you relise it or not you have your inner strength helping you already, you will be ok,in time you will become stronger, over time thing's do heal.
I will keep you, your family in my prayer's, in my thought's.
Safe in the arm's of jesus.
From Trish who live's in sydeny.
P,S. I lost my Beautiful Mother on the 27th july 20005, soon it will be two year's that mum has been gone, that's hard for me to belive. Because there isn't a day that goe's by that i don't think about her, i think about my mother all the time, yes i miss her all the time. But as my mum would say, that is life goe's on, life like's to test us on thing's.

Donna I'm so sorry to hear this sad news ((hugs)).
You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers .

my thoughts and prayers are with you donna and your family. I cant even begin to imagine what this must be like

God Bless xxx

oh my gosh!!!!!!! im so sorry! im crying my heart out for you right now! im so sorry! spend as much time as you can.... ill be thinking of you so much....... im sending so much love right now in a huge tube that leads to you and your family's hearts..... (sorry if that sounded corney.... i thought it was a nice thing to say!) yet again, im so sorry... xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

thankyou so much everyone .......I can't single anyone out cause you have all made me feel so special and also helped to ease my pain somewhat the heartfelt messages have made me cry a stream of tears , God only knows where these tears are coming from I would of thought by now I would of run out .......
I do have hope but its hard I know what the reality is , tomorrow I speak to the pallative care people to help make this much easier for him and my mum . I can do that for them , my poor mum is beside herself she is feeling quite lost and alone even though she knows I am here for her and love her dearly .......(((((hugs))))) to you all Donna xoxox

then let your mum know what you know. she is not alone. People she doesnt know are there feeling and praying, for your dad, you, her and your family.
and always know Donna. No matter how much life itself forces you away from a place thats special in your heart, be sure to know, this is the place that no matter when you return, love and support is always waiting. THATS why i love this place, no matter how tough at times, people here sure are beyond.
bless u, your dad, mum and your whole family. and know that were always here.

I'm really sorry to hear this bad news about your Dad Donna - you're in my thoughts and prayers. Take care

So sorry to hear this sad news Donna. All my thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family during this time of sadness. Stay strong and keep close to your family and friends they will help you through

Donna, sorry to hear the news of your dad, i know what the family is going through as my kids and myself went through just the same thing 7 years ago when my husband passed with cancer.

Just being there for your dad at this time will be very important to him, as I remember Bill would always love to have the kids around.

Be strong stay positive and be there also for your mum, I would have been totally lost if it wasn't for the support of my kids at the time.

You will be in my prayers

God bless, Sue x

Oh my dear Friend.....Donna I'm so sorry about your dear dad.....
Please know that you and your dear mum are in my thoughts and prayers.....

One night a man had a dream.
He dreamed he was walking along
the beach with the Lord.

Across the dark sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene, he noticed
two sets of footprints in the sand,
one beloning to him and the other to the Lord.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him,
he looked back at the footprints in the sand.
He noticed that many times along the path of his life
there was only one set of footprints.
He also noticed that it happened at the
very lowest and saddest times in his life.
This bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it.

"Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,
you'd walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most
troublesome times in my life there is
only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why when I needed you most
you would leave me."

The Lord replied "My precious, precious child,
I love you and would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffereing,
when you see only one set of footprints in the sand,
it was then that I carried you."

Donna you and your family are in my thoughts.

Donna
Your news is so sad and I do know what you are going through right now.
Treasure every moment of the time left with your precious dad and let him go with love when the time comes.
Love to you and your family.
Dianne
XO

(((HUGS))) my" Beautiful Friend " My hear t is with you Donna I know you to be strong To be with ones pain takes courage to feel it take strength .let the arms love hold you and soften that just a little and find a light to help you through. kATHY

donna, you're in my thoughts. sending positive vibes your way. i really hope you dad gets better. fast.

Having lost both my mum and dad I do know what you are going through and my thoughts are with you.
You and your mum need each other so much right now.

DONNA LOVE AND PRAYERS GOING FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. Hugs xxx

Dearest Donna,

I've only just seen this thread and I'm so very sorry to hear this sad sad heart breaking news. I know how loving and close your family is and how deeply you love your dad.

You've always been there for each other though the ups and downs of life and drawn strength from each other.

You will get through this too I know because you're your dad's daughter

Much Love dear friend
Leonie xoxoxox

Thinking of you Donna!

You're such a strong woman. I hope you're letting the family support you as well as being the family support.

Thankyou its so very hard , I sit everyday and watch him slowly get a little weaker his breaths a little more shallow, his heart rate slows and my heart jumps. I come home at night to wash and cook for my family and I try to imagine what its going to be like when he is no longer here and its so very hard .
I go to the house and his hat is still hanging on the hook at the back door and my heart breaks his tools are idle in the shed the house is so quiet its just not the same . But he lays in the hospital and he is still there . This afternoon he said for me to go home cause he was watching the bowls on the tv in his room . Then he starts to cough and he was choking and I hit the nurse station button and two nurses came running and he breathed again .
He told me this morning he was getting better and he would be stronger soon , I agreed with him cause I can't face the reality of what is really happening even though my heart and my head knows. Its just so very hard to come to terms with .
I know I will be ok but I worry about my Mum I doubt she will ever be the same again. My parents have been together since their 20's and Mum says she doesn't know how to live without him being there, she is lost.I try to tell her that I will be there for her and that I won't let her down and we will be ok ,but I don't really know how she feels.This is her life partner he is my Dad but my parents are inseparable they did everything together .......anyways thankyou so much for the messages and emails I feel so very loved and its helped so much ((((((((hugs)))))))) Donna xoxox

It's so so sad Donna.

My only words of wisdom are that life will still find a way to be lived.

I remember thinking the earth should at least stop revolving for a second and register the fact that my Mum had died ... but it didn't.

I really feel for you ... and your Mum ... and the hat and the tools.

i feel terrible, right there with you Donna.
its amazing how so many dont know each other here, yet spend their 'off their computer time' thinking of them and feeling so helpless. and so sad to know theyre suffering.
your post is so touching.
I do want you to know my thoughts are with you, your mum and i think of your dad too.
My grandfather, the most amazing person ive ever known to date, passed on when i was 10, someone i so wish my kids could have met at least for a second.. and my dad, is well terminally ill too. i still feel sadness for my grandfather , and the knowledge that my dad probably isnt far, neither is my grandma... life can be so unfair.
I can imagine what youre going through, and its not easy. i will continue to think and pray for you.
hugs to you Donna

that made me cry. my thoughts are with you hun. know you are strong! *hugs*

Donna I found myself crying reading about your Dad.
I know it isn't always easy.
Sincerely hoping he'll be better soon.
I'll keep you and your Dad in my prayers and thoughts.
Please take care of yourself.

Sending you lots of love,
Elizabeth

So sorry Donna.

I've been where you are....worrying about how your Mum would cope.
Like your dear parents Donna, my Mum and dad had been together
since their late teens. We lost Mum unexpectedly, six months before
their 50th wedding anniversary. And Dad was the one we were worried
for. Mum did EVERYTHING for him. Dad was our focus....helping him
to cope helped us. It's been 6 years now and Dad is fine. He still misses
Mum terribly, but he keeps himself very busy with his Lawn Bowls and
by regularly visiting just a few mutual friends Mum and he had.
We light a candle for Mum at family get togethers and Dad always gives a
little speech. We all miss her dearly and she is always in our thoughts.
Time doesn't heal everything Donna....but it does make it easier.

Hugs to you.

Oh Donna I don't know what to say except that your in my thoughts and prayers *hugs*. Much love to you and your family take care of yourself .

Donna I am so sorry to hear about your father. You and your family are all in my prayers. Big hugs being sent your way.

Sending love (((hugs))) xxxx